this just about sums up how i've felt about this week. mysterious illness #92835 has really gotten me down, but tonight i feel suddenly better. i'll probably even make a full day of work tomorrow.
my fourth bit of gratitude is extended to all of you with butterfingers. hoarders like myself are there to pick up your lost treasures, and personally, i'm happy to do it. just look at this, one of the many incredible things that waited patiently for me to find it. what's it for? who knows. but it works just well describing my mood.
I have spent the last two years, no, more... being dragged behind her truck. I am skinned and raspberried from my head to my toes.
First it was wonderful, and then she would not rest until I "believed" and trusted her.
The moment I did she turned away, withdrew her friendship, her time, her trust, her love, accused me of putting words in her mouth, and childishly refused to take responsibility for anything she did or said from one moment to the next. I remember the day she crossed the line clearly, her eyes never looked at me the same way again. And yet she would not go away.
Instead she abused me in her mind, betrayed me with her heart, and used me.
I don't understand why even after all of this violence, abuse, and selfish, dishonest brutality I say that I only wish I had been good enough, and consider her my princess. The very queen of my heart.
